It's been 5 years (+1 day) since I started this blog. Time flew by. And the fact that I'm writing right now only means that, at least for this day, not a single fucking thing has changed. I still can't do shit on new year's eve and again I feel shitty and lame enough to write a post.
I hate new year's eve. I really fucking do. Every year, for no particular reason, I feel like hell and I want to do something, but I feel to cranky to enjoy anything.
My family, including my brother (whom with I still live in the same house), is gathered in a city that's a two hour car drive away from where I am. My parents are antisocialites and go to sleep around 00:30. The rest of my family is ehm, not on the same page as I am, so to me they are boring or lame.
I can't go to my friends, because my parents don't find that appropriate. I can't go to parties -including public/open air celebrations- either, cause that's dangerous and also inappropriate.
So, I sit in my room, at my computer, just like I do every other night. Only now, no one is online and I only get to see posts and pics about new year.
And when I think '2011' nothing special comes to mind
It makes me feel like a pathetic, lonely shit.
The year I started skateboarding.
The year I got my first job.
The year I started studying.
The year my confidence had a major peak.
The year I realized I'll never not be depressed completely.
The year I knew I'll never -really- fit in. Anywhere.
The year I didn't cave when it came to crushes.
The year I realized I wasn't as strong as I thought I was and I have to work on that.
The year I figured out my passions.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Friday, December 9, 2011
A billion interests
It feels like everyone expects everyone to specialize in just one thing. Anything additional can never exceed the mere 'hobby' title. Or, they have to be in different areas so they can be combined. Like sports and acting or art and technology or something like that. But no more than a few things and you will never really excell at either of them!
I find this common thought to be VERY annoying. You see, I have lots of passions. Those things are more than hobbies! Friends tell me I have too much ambitions, but how is that even possible?! Okay, sure it's possible, but it's better than having none at all!
I love art, I love sports, I love writing, I love nature, I love the mysteries of life; including human beings, the human mind, astrology, astronomy and many more things, I love puzzles and assembling Ikea products, I love dancing, I love people, I love being creative, I love inventing stuff...
Why, if Leonardo DaVinci was so well known, respected and looked up against for his versatility, do people discourage it so? :/
I find this common thought to be VERY annoying. You see, I have lots of passions. Those things are more than hobbies! Friends tell me I have too much ambitions, but how is that even possible?! Okay, sure it's possible, but it's better than having none at all!
I love art, I love sports, I love writing, I love nature, I love the mysteries of life; including human beings, the human mind, astrology, astronomy and many more things, I love puzzles and assembling Ikea products, I love dancing, I love people, I love being creative, I love inventing stuff...
Why, if Leonardo DaVinci was so well known, respected and looked up against for his versatility, do people discourage it so? :/
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Decluttering plan
After seperating most of the stuff I own, I realized I'm not the only hoarder in the house. We have so much crap in this place! And being the youngest (I live with my parents and brother) it feels weird that I'm the one taking notice and actually doing something about it. Usually it's a parent, isn't it?
People are always on about not having enough space, but those very same people probably also never have enough anything. Not enough clothes, not enough shoes, not enough purses, food, new electronics/gadgets etc. Well, you can always earn more money, so you can pay for more space and then earn some more money and get some more stuff and then keep doing that over and over again!
Or you break the vicious circle and start an uplifting spiral!
Get rid of stuff
--> have less to worry about > have more rest/peace at mind > more time to spend and think about things that you enjoy or that actually matter to you
--> have more space > have more room to do things > move more > get healthier?
--> out of sight, out of mind > the neatness of no clutter will calm you down in a way you probably didn't even know you were stressed about
And so forth.
Anyway, here is my plan:
People are always on about not having enough space, but those very same people probably also never have enough anything. Not enough clothes, not enough shoes, not enough purses, food, new electronics/gadgets etc. Well, you can always earn more money, so you can pay for more space and then earn some more money and get some more stuff and then keep doing that over and over again!
Or you break the vicious circle and start an uplifting spiral!
Get rid of stuff
--> have less to worry about > have more rest/peace at mind > more time to spend and think about things that you enjoy or that actually matter to you
--> have more space > have more room to do things > move more > get healthier?
--> out of sight, out of mind > the neatness of no clutter will calm you down in a way you probably didn't even know you were stressed about
And so forth.
Anyway, here is my plan:
- Pick two rooms.
One with a lot of room, that you use frequently (like the livingroom) and one you don't really "use". Everybody has one. Whether you store stuff in it or put all your crap in; you don't really use it. You don't go in there like for a long time, just to grab or dump something. - Empty and divide.
Get everything out of the unused room (will be refered to as crap-room from now on) and put it in the big room.
Now go through all of the stuff and seperate it into piles:- Keeps: anything you really use/need on a daily basis or frequently (e.g. at parties), important papers, stuff with REAL memories/sentimental value etc.
- Non-keeps: to sell, give away, donate, gifts
- Throw away/Recycle: evident. Actually throw away/recycle at the end of your tidying session.
- Don't know/Maybe: try not to create this pile at all, but if you do; keep it as small as possible by deciding right away.
- Re-place.
Put all the stuff that you're not going to keep in the crap-room. (Try to) give everything you're going to keep a place right away ór leave it in the big room. - Continue.
Now you go on to the next room and repeat step 2 and 3. Only now, you put everything you're going to keep back in the original room (except if it doesn't belong there, of course) instead of leaving it in the big room (if that's what you did previously). Go through every room, cabinet, closet, box, storage space etc. and put all the non-keeps in the non-keeps room. - Get your hands dirty.
If you haven't already subdivided the crap, do that now.- Put everything you're going to donate in a bag or box or something and put it somewhere in your way, so that you don't forget it. Also put it on your to do list, in your planner, on your calendar or anywhere else to remind yourself. OR just go and get rid of it right away.
- Contact people. Make one-on-one appointments with people you have gifts to give to. Also organise a 'give away party': have people come over to take your crap away to their home. Also let them know about the stuff you want to sell; you might just get rid of some stuff right away!
- Make appointments with second hand (furniture) stores. Alternatively, you can take pictures of everything you want to sell and put it online (ebay?).
- Put everything you're going to donate in a bag or box or something and put it somewhere in your way, so that you don't forget it. Also put it on your to do list, in your planner, on your calendar or anywhere else to remind yourself. OR just go and get rid of it right away.
- Redo your home.
Now, you own your stuff again, instead of being posessed by your stuff. Now you can make your house back into a home.
~! WARNING !~
This usually takes much longer than it sounds.
It can take weeks, but more likely months or perhaps even years.
This usually takes much longer than it sounds.
It can take weeks, but more likely months or perhaps even years.
Friday, September 16, 2011
The redoing of le room.
So, I've FINALLY built up enough courage and suspense and mental preparation to do this. My room is le changing!
To do this, I got everything out of my gigantic desk, which I had been using as a storage space. Another reason I emptied it, is because I plan on getting rid of it. In the seven years of having it, I've never used it in it's intended purpose. That is, until a couple of weeks ago, after it was completely empty, of course.
And all of my stuff, also things from outside of my room (except clothing and footwear), is on the floor, neatly stacked up and put against the walls. Yes walls. Plural.
Right now I'm deviding everything into other piles; keeps and non-keeps. Most sites and people suggest three piles: keep, throw away, give away. But since I recycle and I don't have a magic recyclebin in my room that will take everything to its destined container, I'm not really going to make a throw away pile. Everything that's actually trash goes right into the bin anyway and everything that's not trash and I'm not keeping has some sort of destination. Whether it be a book I need to return to a friend; CDRoms from my old high school; game devices/electronics I know a certain store will appreciate; toys nieces and nephews might like; paper or plastic that needs to be recyled; things I'm going to sell or whatever else: it all has some sort of destination.
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Even though I'm not a card-collector, I did/do collect the most ridiculous stuff. I just found a little tin with a couple of soap bars in it. That's right: SOAP BARS. And you might think; eh, sure whatever? But I remember actually wanting to collect soapies. How is that not the most dumb thing you've ever heard?! And yet I feel a part of myself being insulted right now, trying to justify it, but I'm not even going to listen to the stupid things it has to say. I usually do, but no. Not this time. STFU BRAIN, YOU'RE INSANE! I'm just glad I didn't somehow find (cause I wouldn't actually go out and buy it of course) any more random soap or it actually might have continued to become a real collection.
And I have a collection of bags. And I don't mean purse-bags or backpacks or something, I mean bags like, grocery shoppers or shopping bags from stores. And bunch of old broken pens and other stuff that's actually junk. But I'm thinking of a way to turn them into art somehow.
The reason I can't just throw it away is that I don't think people hoard for no reason. The thought I've heard everyone has is "I might use it some day!" or something along those lines. Well, since no opportunity has arisen on it's own, I'll make it happen. Unfortunately I'm not an inventor, so I can't make the stuff into something useful, but the least I can do is turn it into art. It'll be quite a big project and I feel the excitement about it bubbling inside me, though my mind is still blank as to what I can make of it.
I have a ridiculous lot of magazines (although I've heard of much much worse magazine-keepers). Those too will become a project.
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I just found some random 'dare' cards I made years ago.
- Keep your eyes open as long as possible.
- Pick someone. Do whatever they dare you to do.
- Do a summersault.
- Do a bridge (backbend).
- Make monkey sounds.
- Lose a game on purpose.
- Get tickled. Do you laugh? You fail: do another dare.
- Do any kind of split or get another dare.
- Do a handstand or get another dare.
- Act like a fish
- Real quickly name 6 animals
- Bonus: get as much clutter from the house in 2 minutes.
To do this, I got everything out of my gigantic desk, which I had been using as a storage space. Another reason I emptied it, is because I plan on getting rid of it. In the seven years of having it, I've never used it in it's intended purpose. That is, until a couple of weeks ago, after it was completely empty, of course.
The gutted beast:
And all of my stuff, also things from outside of my room (except clothing and footwear), is on the floor, neatly stacked up and put against the walls. Yes walls. Plural.
Piles of stuffs against walls:
Right now I'm deviding everything into other piles; keeps and non-keeps. Most sites and people suggest three piles: keep, throw away, give away. But since I recycle and I don't have a magic recyclebin in my room that will take everything to its destined container, I'm not really going to make a throw away pile. Everything that's actually trash goes right into the bin anyway and everything that's not trash and I'm not keeping has some sort of destination. Whether it be a book I need to return to a friend; CDRoms from my old high school; game devices/electronics I know a certain store will appreciate; toys nieces and nephews might like; paper or plastic that needs to be recyled; things I'm going to sell or whatever else: it all has some sort of destination.
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I just realized how much Holland takes after Uncie SAmerica. How they have baseball cards, we have soccercards. Oyea. I found some in my room, though I never collected them (my mother gets them when she goes groceryshopping).
I also found a thin stack of Yu-Gi-Oh! cards, which I also never collected. And a thick pile of Pokémon cards. Never collected those either (I'm not much of a card-collector, can you tell? I always saw right through the scam), but I got them from a friend back in elementary school. I'm happier to have them now than I was back then, cause my Pokémon fan-ness has grown considerably.
Cards
Even though I'm not a card-collector, I did/do collect the most ridiculous stuff. I just found a little tin with a couple of soap bars in it. That's right: SOAP BARS. And you might think; eh, sure whatever? But I remember actually wanting to collect soapies. How is that not the most dumb thing you've ever heard?! And yet I feel a part of myself being insulted right now, trying to justify it, but I'm not even going to listen to the stupid things it has to say. I usually do, but no. Not this time. STFU BRAIN, YOU'RE INSANE! I'm just glad I didn't somehow find (cause I wouldn't actually go out and buy it of course) any more random soap or it actually might have continued to become a real collection.
Random soap:
And I have a collection of bags. And I don't mean purse-bags or backpacks or something, I mean bags like, grocery shoppers or shopping bags from stores. And bunch of old broken pens and other stuff that's actually junk. But I'm thinking of a way to turn them into art somehow.
The reason I can't just throw it away is that I don't think people hoard for no reason. The thought I've heard everyone has is "I might use it some day!" or something along those lines. Well, since no opportunity has arisen on it's own, I'll make it happen. Unfortunately I'm not an inventor, so I can't make the stuff into something useful, but the least I can do is turn it into art. It'll be quite a big project and I feel the excitement about it bubbling inside me, though my mind is still blank as to what I can make of it.
I have a ridiculous lot of magazines (although I've heard of much much worse magazine-keepers). Those too will become a project.
----------------------------------------------------------
I just found some random 'dare' cards I made years ago.
- Keep your eyes open as long as possible.
- Pick someone. Do whatever they dare you to do.
- Do a summersault.
- Do a bridge (backbend).
- Make monkey sounds.
- Lose a game on purpose.
- Get tickled. Do you laugh? You fail: do another dare.
- Do any kind of split or get another dare.
- Do a handstand or get another dare.
- Act like a fish
- Real quickly name 6 animals
- Bonus: get as much clutter from the house in 2 minutes.
Here, I'll do the first one:
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I'm getting there, little by little. I'm definitely realizing the importance of quick execution. And I don't just mean deciding something quickly, but also in the sense of 'getting rid of' something quickly. Because, the longer you still have something around, the bigger the chance is that you'll rethink it and get back at your descision. I should get rid of all this stuff asap.
Most of the stuff I want to keep is for the treasure chest I'm going to purchase. It's all a bunch of memorabilia and stuff I don't really have any use for, but can't get rid of either: diplomas, certificates, my elementary school graduation stuff, my babybook, old pasports and cards (passes), pictures, letters and cards (greeting cards), certain gifts, old school projects/papers (cause I'm an emotional duntz; I can't get rid of it), school organisers/planners/diaries/journals/whatever you want to call it, 'friend books'... Actually pretty much anything I can't, won't or is too valueble to hang up on my wall!
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I have come quite far today! To any unknowing eye it will probably seem like I only moved some stuff around and made a bunch of piles of crap into a less high mess. But I know exactly what's what. The only problem I'm having is figuring out where to keep the stuff for future-projects.
I don't really want to stop, but I'm kinda walking into a wall here. I might continue after a little break, maybe it'll go better after I eat some and watch some of my downloads.
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I'm getting there, little by little. I'm definitely realizing the importance of quick execution. And I don't just mean deciding something quickly, but also in the sense of 'getting rid of' something quickly. Because, the longer you still have something around, the bigger the chance is that you'll rethink it and get back at your descision. I should get rid of all this stuff asap.
Most of the stuff I want to keep is for the treasure chest I'm going to purchase. It's all a bunch of memorabilia and stuff I don't really have any use for, but can't get rid of either: diplomas, certificates, my elementary school graduation stuff, my babybook, old pasports and cards (passes), pictures, letters and cards (greeting cards), certain gifts, old school projects/papers (cause I'm an emotional duntz; I can't get rid of it), school organisers/planners/diaries/journals/whatever you want to call it, 'friend books'... Actually pretty much anything I can't, won't or is too valueble to hang up on my wall!
My wall the last time I took a picture of it:
----------------------------------------------------------I have come quite far today! To any unknowing eye it will probably seem like I only moved some stuff around and made a bunch of piles of crap into a less high mess. But I know exactly what's what. The only problem I'm having is figuring out where to keep the stuff for future-projects.
I don't really want to stop, but I'm kinda walking into a wall here. I might continue after a little break, maybe it'll go better after I eat some and watch some of my downloads.
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