5 years

It's been 5 years (+1 day) since I started this blog. Time flew by. And the fact that I'm writing right now only means that, at least for this day, not a single fucking thing has changed. I still can't do shit on new year's eve and again I feel shitty and lame enough to write a post.

I hate new year's eve. I really fucking do. Every year, for no particular reason, I feel like hell and I want to do something, but I feel to cranky to enjoy anything.

My family, including my brother (whom with I still live in the same house), is gathered in a city that's a two hour car drive away from where I am. My parents are antisocialites and go to sleep around 00:30. The rest of my family is ehm, not on the same page as I am, so to me they are boring or lame.

I can't go to my friends, because my parents don't find that appropriate. I can't go to parties -including public/open air celebrations- either, cause that's dangerous and also inappropriate.

So, I sit in my room, at my computer, just like I do every other night. Only now, no one is online and I only get to see posts and pics about new year.

And when I think '2011' nothing special comes to mind

It makes me feel like a pathetic, lonely shit.

The year I started skateboarding.
The year I got my first job.
The year I started studying.
The year my confidence had a major peak.
The year I realized I'll never not be depressed completely.
The year I knew I'll never -really- fit in. Anywhere.
The year I didn't cave when it came to crushes.
The year I realized I wasn't as strong as I thought I was and I have to work on that.
The year I figured out my passions.

A billion interests

It feels like everyone expects everyone to specialize in just one thing. Anything additional can never exceed the mere 'hobby' title. Or, they have to be in different areas so they can be combined. Like sports and acting or art and technology or something like that. But no more than a few things and you will never really excell at either of them!

I find this common thought to be VERY annoying. You see, I have lots of passions. Those things are more than hobbies! Friends tell me I have too much ambitions, but how is that even possible?! Okay, sure it's possible, but it's better than having none at all!

I love art, I love sports, I love writing, I love nature, I love the mysteries of life; including human beings, the human mind, astrology, astronomy and many more things, I love puzzles and assembling Ikea products, I love dancing, I love people, I love being creative, I love inventing stuff...

Why, if Leonardo DaVinci was so well known, respected and looked up against for his versatility, do people discourage it so? :/