I've felt like deleting my Facebook for over a year now, because 99% of what I say, do, share and read on there is a worthless waste of time. But I keep it because it's convenient. The chat is the main way I keep in contact with a few important people, its groups are easy for school and other things I keep myself busy with (such as writing and gaming for example), and I simply don't have that kind of network on LinkedIn.
But actually, I want to forget about almost all of the people I know or have on there. They have so little to contribute and bring so much bullshit to the table. I don't want to think about what they could mean to me and my goals, because of their network and connections and people they know. I'll like your anecdote or the picture of you getting your diploma, but really... what difference does that make in my life? Thanks for the laugh and good for you and all that, but it's not like I'm hating on you or jealous or resentful if I don't like it. But also, what does it matter to you? If five people like it or fifty or five hundred, the people that really matter aren't going to love you or be proud of you any more or less because of it. It's nice that people can stand you, or like you, or think you're funny, or hot, but what does popularity matter? It's not going to make you a better person. It's only useful when you're actually trying to achieve something.
I stopped accepting people I don't know or don't like. And I try to clean up my friends list every once in a while, but since I started filtering people before accepting them, there aren't many to delete. Still, I don't like having almost 500 friends, so I decided to look at the list in a different way: whose lives are interesting to me and who do I really care about having in my life? It inspired me to write something that I didn't have the balls to post:
Why don't I be honest here, okay? Several, if not all of the following applies to you: I don't talk with you, I don't laugh or have fun with you, something about you annoys me, you don't impress me, you do the opposite of impressing me, you don't inspire me, what happens in your life doesn't really matter to me and most of your opinions probably don't either.
It's nothing that should bother you; I'm not easily impressed, but I am easy disappointed. There's a handful of people I talk with, laugh/have fun with and care about; a different handful that impress or inspire me; and only very few people overall manage not to disappoint me. I'm probably not in your 1% either and that's fine.
Why don't I delete you? Because anyone can be useful to me and my goals: because of your events, your connections/network, or just your support (that I now probably lost). Let me put that in nicer words: regardless of who you are, what you do, or what I think of you, you are never useless and I could need you. And aside from that it's because...
~I don't want to hurt your feelings or explain how I feel about you
~you and/or your friends look good and I just like to creep through the pictures;
~we might hang out again someday like we used to, even though we probably won't;
~you have a cool talent/skills or do something awesome that I don't mind supporting.
It just states something we all do and know: we all use each other, even if we don't like each other, because we still need each other. Not many people say it or state it publicly, because it's an inconvenient, ugly truth and that makes people awkward. That makes it impolite and not socially acceptable. Especially if you add that you don't really care about the other party or even find them annoying, because it takes the general selfishness to a personal level and that makes it even more offensive. It will make people feel bad about themselves and about the OP for saying it; will it do anyone any good?
I know I'm selfish: I want people to do for me what I don't really want to do for the majority of them. It bothers me that I have this collection of people that I need, but rarely enjoy talking to or spending time with. I have to tolerate them and occasionally show interest in them for my own sake; for when I stop feeling hateful and feel loving and optimistic again, when I work on my dreams and goals and need them.
Because I will need them. To support me; morally, with words, by cheering, by attending, by purchasing my product, or otherwise. To view and review my work; to find me interesting and to appreciate or critique my work. To help me find a place to live. After all, that is the purpose that social bonds and networks serve.
We all need communities, but I think I really prefer the time of blogs, forums and MSN. On my blog I'll spam whatever I feel like saying, without worrying about likes or comments or whatever anyone else thinks. On forums I'll ask my questions and get my information and summaries and articles and other interesting things for school and for my interests and for whatever else. And on MSN (or Skype or Whatsapp) I'll talk and stay in touch with the important and interesting people.
The only thing Facebook really added, other than networking/people collecting, is easy stalking.
No comments:
Post a Comment